To go into any meeting and be the most confident person there, it’s all about YOU.
I don’t believe that you can train or build confidence, instead you become a world leading expert in YOU.
That is where confidence lives, in having that clarity and certainty in yourself.
In our WTAF world, there is constant change that makes it more challenging to feel confident when the foundations of our lives are changing. Things are always moving and shifting so quickly it’s hard to feel certain and be brave.
And in the corporate world, it’s harder than ever for women to feel confident and have that self belief.
Women have borne the brunt of lockdown, women have suffered disproportionately. More women have lost their jobs, been furloughed, or been on the front-line at risk without adequate pay in caring professions. Women have felt the burden of working from home, trying to juggle household and caring responsibilities. Women have also struggled financially with earning less and not having savings plus single parents households are mainly women, and with their mental health.
Now is a time of awakening, a time to change … to drive well change! If you live feeling less and less confident, you will struggle to make the impact you want, to own your expertise and push to that next level you KNOW you’re capable of.
You’ll get more and more frustrated and disillusioned, and even end up leaving where you are only for the same to happen somewhere else.
In this blog I’ll be sharing a few ways that I help my clients to build that inner confidence and certainty.
So you start to have that INNATE, INBUILT inner confidence to be braver and bolder, find that fire again to push for that promotion and next step … to have those difficult conversations, to ask for the pay rise, or go for the promotion.
The Myth of Confidence
There seems to be a lot of pop psychology on confidence, that you can go on courses, read books, drop in a meme and LEARN to be confident.
I know in the corporate world, when I wasn’t feeling confident it would come across at times and I’d go to another “confidence building” workshop.
And NO, I didn’t suddenly feel confident because a group of strangers caught me when I fell backwards!
I get the concept but that is NOT confidence. Yes, I understand there are tips and tricks BUT if you don’t have certainty in yourself these will all fail at some point.
The myth of confidence I see over and over again, is that it is something that you’ll MAKE, that you’ll CREATE that you’ll arrive at one day and awake, BEHOLD I’m now confident.
That’s the myth of confidence I see so much, yet that’s not how it works for me.
Confidence is something internal, not something external, not a destination or meeting point that you arrive at one day.
Which is amazing as it means you can achieve it whenever you want to just by thinking about the world in a different way and today I want to help you do that.
The Truths About Confidence
To see the corporate world in a more confident way these truths that I use to help my clients.
- Everyone feels nervous.
Nerves are just a growing pain, showing you that you’re doing something new. That is a brain mechanism that will always happen, but the more you push it the braver you can become.
2. No one is above or below you.
We’re all on our own roads, keep your eyes in your own business before being distracted and led into others. Your boss doesn;t have more power because he;s your boss, you can still challenge and ask for what you need.
3. All you need to be confident is that certainty in YOU
That is built day in and day out from knowledge and understanding, not from job titles, qualifications and always giving more but from certainty in you.
4. Confidence is something you build every day, by becoming an expert in YOU
Little steps every day, to know how you feel and why you say, think, feel and do certain things that don’t serve. There’s not beating yourself up, simply understand and accept or change
5.Nothing bad will happen either way.
You won’t die from lack of confidence, but you will lead a smaller life NOT finding that fire and creating your dreams. There is nothing wrong with this but don’t let a brain mechanism stop you.
What is Confidence?
Confidence is purely and simply, certainty in yourself. To walk into a room and be the most confident person your certainty is within you knowing yourself deeply and intimately.
I might seem to be confident, but my confidence isn’t from working on my confidence as such my confidence is from certainty in myself.
I know, accept and love all of me, the light and the dark, the fun and the serious, the deep and the shallow, the obvious and mysterious.
And there isn’t one hack, tip or trick I can share that’s got me there, it’s been little steps daily and building that trust in myself.
The Confidence Sum
Confidence = Truth + Certainty + Clarity
That is what I believe confidence is:
- Your truth and what you believe about yourself, others and the world
- That creates certainty about yourself even in the ever-changing corporate crazy world.
- That then creates clarity, more listening to your heart and less listening to others.
If you start to feel unsure of myself and unconfident, there’s just one of these missing.
The exciting part is that all this is within YOU, you only need to take some time to slow down and hit pause.
You have all the answers within you.
They’re in your story
They’re in your feelings
They’re in your beliefs
They’re in your values
They’re in your experiences
They’re in your passions
They’re all diamonds in the rough, waiting to be found. Here’s my steps to help you become more confident in the corporate world.
Your Steps to Becoming More Confident
1.Become the world leading expert in yourself
Make it your mission to become the world leading authority in YOU, what do you love, what makes you see red, what fires you up and what drains you? And as part of that learn to sit with how you feel and trust that it’s showing your something.
2.Understand your beliefs
If you’re struggling at work with a project or a person, then there is simply a belief that you’ve outgrown. Our beliefs are formed as we’re children and they can become hard wired the more we use them, it’s something called Hebbs Law and is really survival of the busiest. So you end up living as an adult with beliefs inherited from when you were a child.
3. Discover and Live By Your Values
Spend time to know your values you want to live by and how up with, chose 3 and show up in your career to align with them. LIVE through these values, think what you say, think, feel and do and how they relate to them.
5. Count your Wins
Look back and count all your wins in life, where have you achieved something or overcome a challenge? Use this to look back on when you don’t feel confident. Some of my clients even have it as something to start their day.
6. Start a Brave Streak
Start to work your brave muscle, each day do something that scares you a little … have that conversation you’ve been worried about, ask the question of your boss, challenge your peer on something that’s not your job … little by little work the brave.
7. Treat Life Like an Experiment
Stop thinking of what you do as a pass or failure, if you chose to see it this way it’s only ever learning and progressing, a better way next time.
If you’ve found this useful, I’d love you to share? And which from the list above will you start with? Message me here to let me know.
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