Well 2020’s over… and what a start we’ve had to 2021!
It’s not even been two weeks and everything seems to be changing again. It’s time to let go of the shoulds and coulds. All bets are off for 2021!
Not in a defeatist way, but in a way of allowing for the waves that have already swept us into 2021.
Naturally, the start of a new year always brings a time of reflection and taking stock of where you are. It can be a time of year that’s a real mix of feelings – even without a global pandemic!
And the NEW YEAR, NEW YOU brigade seem to be out in full force nevertheless.
Putting you under pressure, if you’ve not chosen your word, planned your year or aren’t raring to go!
With their shakes, cleanses, pills, potions, lotions, mindset hacks, planners, tips and overhauling your whole life in just one day.
What I HATE at this time of year, the assumption that you need to be a NEW you to live a happy and fulfilled life.
In fact it feckin pisses me off this type of marketing as it infers that YOU as YOU is NOT ENOUGH.
You as you are is not enough… so you need to be new, upgraded or better?!
Or that you need to be SAVED, RESCUED, MENDED, FIXED…
You’re NOT and never were broken.
You’re NOT lost, you’re not a sock.
You’re NOT in need of rescue.
That’s BULLSHIT. LIES. STORIES. CROCK OF SH*T.
And I’m here to tell you why…
The New Year, New You Pressure
On the positive side, there’s the excitement of a new year and a clean sheet. The opportunity to leave behind what’s happened and start over. New opportunities, new challenges, and a natural restart.
But that then comes with the usual buzz and chatter about self-improvement and change, that comes laden with a mix of shame, expectation, and unattainable targets. Especially for those ladies who still feel stuck, “I can’t believe I’m still in this.”
If us ladies all believed the ads, all it would take is the first month of the year the clarity of January to change your life and If you believed the ads, all it would take is the cold clarity of January to nudge you towards a newer, better, dress size smaller, organisational champion. All the year’s plans, hopes, optimism and ambition pinned on these few weeks.
But the reality is that 85% of New Year’s Resolutions are just memories laid to the side within the first 3 months of the year. And when you “fail” you feel frustrated and disappointed in yourself.
- When you don’t lose the weight.
- When you don’t grow the business as quickly as you’d like.
- When you don’t spend more family time and relax more.
- When you don’t get that new job.
- When you are STILL in that relationship that just doesn’t feel right for you.
Do you even remember what your New Year’s Resolutions were for last year? Well you’re not alone; you’re in the majority. It’s how we’ve been conditioned.” I’ll do that next year.”
Why Resolutions are DESIGNED to FAIL
And as for Resolutions. WOW! They’re hard, right? As soon as we set a resolution, you either succeed or fail. There’s no room for progress or moving towards hitting a goal. It’s ALL or NOTHING. And your also asked to publicly share them and commit to them, the societal pressure of the annual question “What are your New Year’s Resolutions?”
And they fail year after year after year, they’re not designed from our hearts and within our own frame they’re more of what society thinks we SHOULD be doing.
- And are they even realistic?
- Are they based on the truth of where you are right now? The REAL truth?
- Are we in dream world with our vision boards and unicorns?
- Are you living someone else’s dream?
- Or the true thing you REALLY want?
- Do they excite and inspire you? Do they fire your heart up with passion?
- Or do they pressurise make you feel stressed?
Think of all your discarded New Year’s Resolutions. Do you even still remember any of them? Much of this is obviously rubbish. Happiness certainly isn’t found in new beauty treatment, diet plans or anything like that. Besides, we’re changing and shifting all the time – constantly in flux as we learn, make mistakes, and carry on with the business of growth and setbacks and negotiating the world around us.
Yet There is Something in This January Thing
However, there is something to be said for the potential of a new year. The word January stems from the Roman god Janus. A god of beginnings and endings, he had two heads: always looking backwards and forwards. Sneaky bugger. But there are always diamonds in our past history.
A new year is an opportunity to start again with a clean slate. To start to write a new chapter in the book that is your life. You’re the author and you can create whatever you want. THAT is cool. And I’ve worked with hundreds of ladies now who have made some BIG life changes, from new careers, to new relationships, new countries and falling in love with who they are.
So today I wanted to share a different way, a way based in Noggin Knowledge and the neuroscience of change that is proven and designed to work. And that also takes inspiration from Danielle Laporte’s Desire Map, as we lead with FEELINGS rather than goals. As each goal is simply a search for a feeling it makes sense to focus on the FEELING first and then create the goals.
Why? Because the feeling will hyper drive your goals, as every goal is truly a search for a feeling.
It sets of a process in the brain called reticular activation e.g. hyper focuses your brain on what you want, finds new linkages, opportunities, and connections you’d never thought of.
5 Steps to Your Best Ever Year
So here we go my 5 super simple steps to create goals with soul, as Danielle calls them or Passion Plan as I love to call it.
Pause and reflect
Start with hitting the pause button and reflect back at 2020, to find the diamonds of learning and knowledge and what you learnt about yourself. Despite everything that happened, there are bound to be some positives to be found.
Think of it like a sat nav we’re starting from where we are right now and finding clarity before moving onto the what’s next.
My biggest lesson for 2020 was that for the first time in my life I can truly say with certainty that I AM ENOUGH, I spent the whole year living knowing that. How do I know this… because I’ve had the courage to get to know who I am and really fall in love with all that I am.
You don’t need to be slimmer, more intelligent, more successful, have money, know more, lose weight, stronger, fitter just be YOU. But first you have to know YOU. Being YOU is a gift to the world and to those who love you.
>>> You don’t need to be MORE than you are just ALL that you are.
Above all this year, I’ve learned a lifelong lesson that I have my own back. It wasn’t a year of unicorns and rainbows, there were challenges to say the least. But through all that, I know now with certainty. Nic “you’ve got your own back, you’ll always be good.”
And alongside this, the most powerful lesson of all … that to be true to who I am and what I want, I have ALL the answers within. That when I’m in deep in the sh*t and don’t know where to turn, to pause and listen to how I feel.
And I invite you to join this amazing secret world within YOU. To know what lights, you up and makes you heart feel full. Become the world leading expert in YOU. The leading authority on this planet in you.
The beauty of this is everyone is different and that what I LOVE will be different than what you LOVE, but I wanted to share to invite you to create your own list.
The things that light me up, that I LOVE:
- Going to bed with a happy heart and thinking of the magic moments for that day
- Breathing, feeling into my heart and pausing when it all gets too much
- Waking to the sound of the sea, some days with no alarm and looking out of my window
- A walk on the beach with the sun high and shining, wrapped up warm with Charlie at my feet
- Being out in nature and appreciating different views within the beauty of Cornwall
- Relaxing with my fiancé in our new home
- A client’s aha moment in a Breakthrough call
- Watching Charlie sleeping soundly and hearing him sigh
- Tea and cake in my favourite tea pot, or a Cornish pasty some little indulgences
- Sitting chatting with my gorgeous guy, switching from the profound and deep to profane and silly in a few sentences
- A long shower with no rush to leave the warm water, defo a water baby
- Learning, growing and then sharing with my tribe… the more I can develop myself the more I can help
- Speaking and sharing my message
- Serving and helping someone who’s feeling so stuck and relieving them of some of their pain
- Time with my family
What slows me and weighs me down:
- Letting go of my routine for others
- Lack of clarity and not knowing where I stand, LOVE clarity and the power it has
- When I don’t stick to a feel good for me diet
- Taking on the problems of others and trying to heal the world, as an empath it can be really hard to switch off from others
- Giving away my energy and feeling good to easily, spending too much time with drainers and not enough with lifters
- Over committing and feeling like I have to prove myself, to clients and those I love
What’s your list? This will help you with the next step and is the foundation for your best EVER year.
I invite you:
To become the world leading expert in YOU.
To get to truly and deeply know why you say, think, feel, and do certain things.
To become the number 1 authority in YOU.
To know the light and the dark, plus all the bits in between.
To understand the amazing person you already are.
To see and appreciate the magic you have within you.
Kinda like embarking on a project for life, Project You.
What I have called Passion Planning. So here we start to create how you want to FEEL, all goals are search for a feeling so here we start inside out and start with the feeling to create the goals. You’re invited to be brave and honest here, the truth will set you free always so honour yourself by being as honest as you can.
And the more we lead with feelings, the more we start to trust our heart and will make more powerful decisions, say no more, and keep clarity on what we want. Think of it like this, your yes and no’s should be a feck YES or feck NO all based on how you most want to feel.
For me, my key values are love, freedom and courage. So when I’m living from these, I’m the most aligned and powerful version of me. I show up as the REAL me in all areas of my life.
Love – Love for me first, what makes my heart happy and full of love. The more I do of what I LOVE the more love I have to give out. And with my clients the more they KNOW who they are the more they can LOVE who they are, it’s difficult to love what we don’t know.
Freedom – Freedom of time, geography and financially but above all create freedom to be ME in what I say, think, feel, and do. No compromises or people pleasing, me being free to be me. AND this has meant the end of, or putting on hold, some important relationships… but I learnt so much from that.
Courage – Courage means to speak from the heart, so know I’m as honest and truthful as I can be in all areas of my life. I can still hide away and be scared of difficult conversations BUT I always know afterwards that I’ve been true to myself. And you might be following me now, from some of the courageous stories I’ve shared.
So for me 2021 is the year of FEELING and living in these values, simple as. From there I’ll shape my goals and intentions.
So for you… how do you most want to feel?
Lead with Love
Not proving, chasing, and pushing, proving, and seeking approval as you might have done before. Where does this lead? To pushing and doing things we think we “should”, “could” or feel obligated to do. That leads to frustration and living someone’s else life, with your true life compromised.
And I see it in so many women, seeking love from others and people pleasing, over committing, and living the busiest of ground hog days to feel worthy of love.
You are ENOUGH.
You are WORTHY.
You are AMAZING.
You are YOU-NIQUE just as you are.
^^^^ In fact you’re one in 7.8 billion, there’s only ONE of you so share that gift with the world. You are worthy of everything your heart desires, the world needs more women to chase their dreams.
Become a Woman of Action
Finally become a woman of action. You know now:
The nuggets and diamonds from last year.
A whole load of new intel on YOU.
How you would LOVE to feel. That leading with LOVE will bring you more LOVE.
So based on your feelings what would you LOVE to say, think, feel, and do? Then pick 1 step towards these. Check in weekly with this and see where you are versus how you want to feel, then count your magic moments and readjust your course to feel more of how you want to.
And a REALLY important last tip, take this all at YOUR pace.
That isn’t too fast so you feel overwhelmed or too slow, so you feel frustrated, it’s progress at a feel good rate. That creates momentum and that in turn brings more progress.
And That’s a Wrap
The message here is simple and the message I want to share with the world throughout the entirety of my life.
And in doing that you’re 2021 WILL be your best ever year. I promise you that, how do I know … I live and breathe this every day.
P.S. If you’re feeling a little lost in who you are, my VIP 1-1 Coaching helps to guide you home to YOU. The real YOU, none of this New Year, New You Bullsh*t!
It’s for female leaders, who have been overwhelmed trying to keep up with their own crazy fast life – especially now in lockdown. And you have no idea who you are now or what you want as we adjust to the constant changes.
After months of everyone else, it’s your time now!
Here’s how it works:
✅StartHer call to get super clear on your wows.
✅Breakthrough calls with me, where the magic happens.
✅Worksheets and explainer videos to guide you along.
✅Weekly check in and feedback, to keep the momentum.
The cost of VIP coaching is £797 per month (VAT included) for 6 months. Message me direct to book a call, to answer any questions and see if we’re right for each other. We can get your first call booked for the same week, to get you moving NOW! I have only TWO places left currently to work with me in 2021, so drop me a message now.