To walk into any room and be the most confident person there, it’s all about you. I don’t believe that you can train or build confidence, instead you become a world leading expert in YOU.
In this first paced world things are always moving and shifting so quickly it’s hard to feel certain and be brave. So, in this blog I’ll be sharing a few ways that I help my clients to be build that inner confidence and certainty. So they’re braver and bolder, they live bigger lives and stop playing small … to have those difficult conversations at home, to ask for the pay rise, go for the promotion or set up that new passion business.
The Myth of Confidence
There seems to be a lot of pop psychology on confidence, that you can go on courses, read books, drop in a meme and LEARN to be confident. I know in corporate world, when I wasn’t feeling confident it would come across at times and I’d end up on a “confidence” building workshop. AGAIN.
And NO, I didn’t suddenly feel confident because a group of strangers caught me when I fell backwards! I get the concept but that is NOT confidence. Yes, I understand there are tips and tricks BUT if you don’t have certainty in yourself these will all fail at some point.
The myth of confidence I see over and over again, is that it is something that you’ll MAKE, that you’ll CREATE that you’ll arrive at one day and awake, BEHOLD I’m now confident.
That’s the myth of confidence is see so much, yet that’s not how it works for me.
Confidence is something internal, not something external, not a destination or meeting point that you arrive at one day. Which is amazing as it means you can achieve it whenever you want to just by thinking about the world in a different way and today I want to help you do that.
The Truths of Confidence
To see the world in a more confident way these truths are the basis of what I teach and coach.
- Everyone feels nervous.
Nerves are just a growing pain, showing you that you’re doing something new. That is a brain mechanism that will always happen, but the more you push it the braver you can become.
2.No one is above or below you.
We’re all on our own roads, keep your eyes in your own business before being distracted and led into others
3. All you need to be confident is that certainty in YOU
That is built day in and day out from knowledge and understanding, not from things and stuff but from certainty in you.
4. Confidence is something you build every day, by becoming an expert in YOU
Little steps every day, to know how you feel and why you say, think, feel and do certain things that don’t serve. There’s not beating yourself up, simply understand and accept or change
5.Nothing bad will happen either way.
You won’t die from lack of confidence, but you will lead a smaller life that aren’t living in your passion and creating your dreams. There is nothing wrong with this but don’t let a brain mechanism stop you.
What is Confidence?
Confidence is purely and simply, certainty in yourself. To walk into a room and be the most confident person your certainty is within you knowing yourself deeply and intimately.
I might seem to be confident, but my confidence isn’t from working on my confidence as such my confidence is from certainty in myself. I know, accept and love all of me, the light and the dark, the fun and the serious, the deep and the shallow, the obvious and mysterious.
And there isn’t one hack, tip or trick I can share that’s got me there, it’s been little steps daily and building that trust in myself.
The Confidence Sum
Confidence = Truth + Certainty + Clarity
That is what I believe confidence is:
- Your truth and what you believe about yourself, others and the world
- That creates certainty about yourself even in the ever-changing crazy world.
- That then creates clarity, more listening to your heart and less listening to others.
And if I start to feel unsure of myself and unconfident I know there’s one of these missing. And when you’re first starting out on this road to knowing you and being more confident, it’s likely that you’ll start with the truth.
The exciting part is that all this is within YOU, you only need to take some time to slow down and hit pause.
You have all the answers within you.
They’re in your story
They’re in your feelings
They’re in your beliefs
They’re in your values
They’re in your experiences
They’re in your passions
They’re all diamonds in the rough, waiting to be found. It’s your mission to find them and my purpose to lead you to them.
Your Steps to Becoming More Confident
1.Become the world leading expert in yourself
Make it your mission to become the world leading authority in YOU, what do you love, what makes you see red, what fires you up and what drains you? And as part of that learn to sit with how you feel and trust that it’s showing your something.
2.Understand your beliefs
If you have an area of your life that isn’t serving you, then there is simply some beliefs that you’ve outgrown. Our beliefs are formed as we’re children and they can become hard wired the more we use them, it’s something called Hebbs Law and is really survival of the busiest. So you end up living as an adult with beliefs inherited from when you were a child.
3. Discover and Live By Your Values
Spend time to know your values you want to live buy and how up with, chose 3 and move your life to align with them. LIVE through these values, think what you say, think, feel and do and how they relate to them.
4.Ask Yourself How Do I Feel
Truly get to know what you feel and why you feel it, start to get to the why behind the why … where does that feeling come from and what is it showing me? Start to curious about how you feel and don’t judge yourself for the feeling but put your focus on understanding.
5. Count you Wins
Look back and count all your wins in life, where have you achieved something or overcome a challenge? Use this to look back on when you don’t feel confident. Some of my clients even
6. Start a Brave Streak
Start to work your brave muscle, each day do something that scares you a little … have that conversation you’ve been worried about, ask the question in your class, remind your friend it’s their turn to organise something … little by little work the brave.
7. Treat Life Like an Experiment
Stop thinking of what you do as a pass or failure, if you chose to see it this way it’s only ever learning and progressing, a better way next time.
So excited for your life head sharing your true voice.