How to Stop Being Indecisive and Start to Make Feel Good Decisions.
“I just can’t decide and the fact it takes so long, takes all the pleasure out of it for me.”
I did a survey with nearly 100 ladies in December and one of the biggest things that came out was that they found it so hard to make decisions.
From the small things, like what to have for breakfast and what time to leave to get the kids to school and then onto work to the BIG things is my husband right for me or can my business work.
And I see the same pattern over and over again in the achieving women I work with, indeed I’ve done this and I’ve been there. Even now, I still can run things over in my head again and again.
Here’s the pattern I see again and again.
1) Decision needs making
2) Not feel sure about what to do
3) Ask for more and more opinions about said decision
4) Get very confused about what your opinion is
5) Procrastinate on decision and feel more confused
6) Make decision but don’t feel good or confident
7) Change mind on decision and kick your arse for making the “wrong decision”
And the thing is then that this can lead to decision fatigue where it gets harder and harder to make even the smallest of decisions. And for many women I know they find it hard to put themselves first and their decisions will be led by worrying about everyone else rather than what’s best for them.
So today I wanted to help you ease the burden of being indecisive and give you some simple ways to make decisions.
OH and all based on the Noggin Knowledge, so no happy, clappy woo woo ideas there is of course a place for that but my I love the neuroscience and the truth of what’s really going on.
1) Clear your head
It’s really hard to make a clear and feel good decision when you have so much on your mind. Our brain is amazing but it needs some help to run at its’ best, and having so much on your mind is like having A LOT of tabs open on your computer and it slows down the pace of the processor and runs frustratingly slow at times.
How to do this? Get a new page in your journal and just empty your head, think of it like a mental vomit and get it all out onto the page.
2) Decide about the decision
If the decision is a BIG one, what I call a Pivot decision which is a decision that will lead to BIG changes then mulling it over every day won’t make it any easier. Instead of every day putting yourself through it decide when you might make that decision and it’s okay to put it on hold. Sounds like a strange thing BUT it’s a decision in itself and clarity from a Noggin Knowledge point of view and will help you enjoy the everyday more by taking that pressure off.
3) Data and DRAMA
The Noggin Knowledge here is that we spend up to 98/99% of our time in our subconscious part of our brain, which means we’re running on the auto pilot of old stories and beliefs. That means that many ladies are living by old stories that are no longer true, relevant or serve them. Leading you to make a skewed decision that doesn’t feel right for you.
How to come back to the truth? Sit down and write down all your beliefs about the decision, asking yourself what is:
Data – the proven truth that is happening
Drama – the stories about what might or could happen
4) Head and heart
As women we tend to be more emotional as they social part of our brain is larger, so we worry more about what others think of us and that can lead to trying to lead more with our head and less with our heart.
When clients are facing BIG decisions, we go through the steps outlined BUT I always ask what’s in your heart. So ask yourself, ”If I was free to make ANY decision what would it be? What is in my heart?”
5) Filter with your values
One of the biggest things I teach and coach my clients is their values, it’s the core of anyone’s self-identity and gives you a way of always coming back to you. When you’re faced with a big decision, use your values to filter them eg for me my values are:
So I’d always filter through them, as I know being more aligned with my values is going to lead to a better decision for me as hard as it might be. When I closed my gym, that was such a hard decision as I loved my clients and it was SOO scary but I knew the gym didn’t fit with my values anymore.
6) Back yourself
Once you’ve made your decision, back yourself and stand behind it. In my mind, there’s not really right or wrong decisions, just the best decision you can make at that time based on the knowledge and experience you have. So, think of it like a muscle, you’re building that history of decision making and you’ll get more confident each time you make and stand behind your decision.
7) Pace yourself
From a Noggin Knowledge point of view, this is the most important the brain works at it’s best when the pace is the right for us. So that means, not too fast and not too slow, plus having a clear why behind why we’re doing something. So, as you make your decisions that lead to change make that pace of change feel right for you. We tend to over estimate what we can do in a day and underestimate what we can do in a year. So find the pace that feels good for you and let it flex with the ebbs and flows of life.
PS Whenever you’re ready …here are 4 ways I can help you to Know, Love and Be you to be confident in your own skin and love your life.
- Register for this private training … The 7 Day StrongHer Self Love Challenge is a great start point with a short challenge for each day that you can do when it suits you. Over 250 women have now been through this 7 Day Kickstart to knowing and loving themselves, with results as varied as they were AMAZING. CLICK HERE.
- Join the StrongHer Revolution free group of amazing women who are starting to put themselves first and get to know who they are and what they want. It’s the StrongHer Facebook family where busy, successful women learn to at last know themselves and create a life they love. CLICK HERE.
- Join our StrongHer Revolution Programme. Over 125 women in the last year have now gone through my beloved group programme, with HUGE changes in their lives and how they feel about themselves. Between them they’ve found more clarity, belief and confidence to make HUGE courageous changes in their lives. To create new businesses, change careers, leave or start relationships, moved countries, taken up lifelong passions and there’s even been a wedding and a baby. Would you like to be the next StrongHer Success story? If so … just hit reply to this message and put “StrongHer Revolution” in the subject.
- Work with me and my team privately. If you’d like to have some closer support, my latest thinking and weekly nudges from yours truly to take you from where you are now to having clarity, confidence and belief. Join my limited group of incredible VIP clients to take you from being lost and confused to living a truly happy life and be confident in your own skin. Just hit reply to this message and put “StrongHer VIP” in the subject line, telling me a little about your current challenge and what you’d want to work on together.
^^^ Oh and all of these are invites which you are free to say FECK yes to or bear in mind in the future. Either is good with me