To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom,” this was a quote attributed to Socrates and he was really clever right?
From the hundreds of women, I’ve spoken to over the last few years there are many reasons why they don’t know themselves.
But the biggest reason, I see over and over is that they give themselves so much to others. That they never leave any time, love or energy left for them. Between the school run, working, trying to fit in a date night, being mums taxi and then trying to make time for the gym and eating healthily.
Are you Self Sacrificing?
It almost gets to the post of self-sacrificing. That they give so much, they completely lose any sense of who they are. Thoughts about themselves and what they want comes after EVERYONE else. Indeed, one of my clients, even said to me that the cat comes first. WTF!
It’s all too easy to get swept up in the current of your day to day life. With so much on, you feel continually overwhelmed and like you’re not doing anything as well as you could. It’s one thing to go with the flow and let life ease by, it’s another one to swept away in a tide of chores, domesticity and serving others.
“I’ve lost myself and I don’t know who I am anymore. I love my children, my husband and my family plus I have a great career. I should be happy but I do nothing for me.”
^^^ This was from a conversation with a VIP client when we first started working together. NOW she’s on the road to knowing herself, she knows her values and each week does something just for her she LOVES.
For me knowing myself has made the biggest change in my life. I truly believe I only got to know myself in the last year and I’m 40 now. And in this year, I’ve moved to my dream house, work only in my passion with StrongHer and live a life that is me first. Plus I’ve met an amazing man and I’m the fittest, healthiest I’ve ever been.
^^^ ALL that comes from me knowing me.
Why do I Believe Knowing Yourself is so Important?
- Happiness. You will be happier when you show up in the world as YOU, free of the need to change or be anyone else. Expressing your desires, moreover, will make it more likely that you get what you want.
- Less inner conflict. When you live life in alignment with your values, you will experience less inner conflict and live your life on purpose.
- Better decision-making. When you know yourself, you are able to make decisions that FEEL right for you. Choices about everything, from small decisions like what you want to have for dinner you’ll buy to big decisions like which partner you’ll spend your life with. You’ll have more trust and self-belief in who you are.
- Self-control. When you know yourself, you understand yourself more and the habits and stories that don’t serve you. NOT about needing will power it’s about
- Resistance to social pressure. When you are grounded in your values and preferences, you are less likely to say “yes” when you want to say “no.”
How do we reconnect with ourselves when we feel squelched and obliterated by all our obligations, responsibilities, and an overwhelming sense of drowning?
We can’t wait for our children to grow up to get back to ourselves and start doing ‘our stuff’. We can’t wait for the challenges to go away so we can have our life back.
Life is now, not when.
We cannot “let the perfect be the enemy of the good” (Voltaire) and wait for the stars to line up perfectly and the pigs fly.
My Steps To Refind Who You Are
1) Take Time to Stop
If you’re always on the go you have NO time to stop. If everyone else is first you’re likely to feel that you’re stuck in Groundhog Day and just to keep going. But if you’re struggling in an area of your life then keeping going WILL NOT work for you.
For example, if you’re overwhelmed in your business then keep going won’t work for you. The result = more overwhelm.
So, take some time, even 10 minutes over a cup of tea to stop and pause for breath. Let yourself be and just feel. We don’t solve our problems with the same thinking that created it, so let your brain come back to you and check in with how you are.
2) Write Down How You Feel
When we write down how we feel we get the opportunity to truly process how we feel and how we are, we get to see the truth and the lies.
We make the subconscious stories and feelings come to the surface so we can start to make sense of them. So, each day spend some time writing down how you feel.
I recommend the 5 minute journal for all my clients, if you can’t take 5 minutes a day for you there’s something wrong.
3) Feed Your Passions
When we’re young we have no problem saying how we’re feeling and what we want. We only have to remember our Christmas lists, with so many demands on them to realise that we then asked for what our heart wanted.
YET as we grow up we forget these passions, they get lost in a land of adulating, responsibility and time swallowed up in a busy life.
Pick one old passion and think about how you could bring it back into your life. I’ve recently started horse riding again and I LOVE, it’s time out in the country just for ME.
4) What are Your Values?
What are your values? Your values will bring you consistency and an anchor in a crazy world, no matter what is going you will always be able to come back to you.
So, for me, my values are love, freedom and courage, the more I live my life by these the more I feel in alignment and know I’m living my life how I’m meant to. This is one of the BIGGEST things I help clients with, as it’s the core of who they are and finding them is like coming home.
5) Where are You Right Now?
Are you living in the here and now? Or are you time travelling forward in the future and the what if’s OR going back into the past and going over old painful memories “I wish I hadn’t said that..”
Both of these show you are NOT living in the here and now. YOU as you is only in the here and now. To come back to now, slow down your breathing and breath in for 4, hold for 4 and out for 4. To come back to you and the here and now.
PS Whenever you’re ready …here are 4 ways I can help you to Know, Love and Be you to be confident in your own skin and love your life.
- Register for this private training … The 7 Day StrongHer Self Love Challenge is a great start point with a short challenge for each day that you can do when it suits you. Over 250 women have now been through this 7 Day Kickstart to knowing and loving themselves, with results as varied as they were AMAZING. CLICK HERE.
- Join the StrongHer Revolution free group of amazing women who are starting to put themselves first and get to know who they are and what they want. It’s the StrongHer Facebook family where busy, successful women learn to at last know themselves and create a life they love. CLICK HERE.
- Join our StrongHer Revolution Programme. Over 125 women in the last year have now gone through my beloved group programme, with HUGE changes in their lives and how they feel about themselves. Between them they’ve found more clarity, belief and confidence to make HUGE courageous changes in their lives. To create new businesses, change careers, leave or start relationships, moved countries, taken up lifelong passions and there’s even been a wedding and a baby. Would you like to be the next StrongHer Success story? If so … just hit reply to this message and put “StrongHer Revolution” in the subject.
- Work with me and my team privately. If you’d like to have some closer support, my latest thinking and weekly nudges from yours truly to take you from where you are now to having clarity, confidence and belief. Join my limited group of incredible VIP clients to take you from being lost and confused to living a truly happy life and be confident in your own skin. Just hit reply to this message and put “StrongHer VIP” in the subject line, telling me a little about your current challenge and what you’d want to work on together.
^^^ Oh and all of these are invites which you are free to say FECK yes to or bear in mind in the future. Either is good with me