“I’ve been on a diet all my life.”
The brave lady sat in front of me was breaking my heart, sat red eyed from tears she described her relationship with food. It was a tempestuous and turbulent relationship, with comfort and emotional binge eating, self-hate and an obsession with the scales. It was a loveless relationship, full of regret, bitterness, misunderstandings and judgment.
And she is not alone from all the thousands of women I have spoken to and helped in some way, this relationship sadly is not unusual. From what I’ve seen food has become another battleground, another way of women not feeling enough and living in an overthinking world. Where each day they get confused about what and how to eat, if this week fats are good or bad and how many carbs are okay. If the latest celebratory diet will work for them or should they go back to Weightwatchers.
It’s a battle.
It’s a struggle.
It’s a fighting ground.
It’s about again proving you’re enough.
It’s not about love and care.
Al of this I see so much and it breaks my heart.
Here’s my truth for what it’s worth.
I believe that your relationship with food, is a reflection of your relationship with yourself. In my experience they get stronger and better together.
I had 18 months after a fitness model competition, of binge and disordered eating. For the competition I ate a very controlled and calorie restricted diet. I cut carbs and fats 3 weeks out from the competition, which sent my hormones and my emotions in a death fall that was awful to live through. I was constantly hungry and took no joy, everything was negative and I was on the verge of tears constantly. After the competition from the moment I got off stage I started eating and I didn’t stop, literally. I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and my weight when shooting back up. Where I ate either far too much or nothing at all and it took me another year to reset and create a good relationship with food again.
And now I LOVE food. It’s a huge part of my life, I love deciding what to eat and finding great ingredients then cooking and sit down to eat. I also love to find great new restaurants in Cornwall, with fresh fish and I LOVE a pasty or a cream tea. So that’s what I teach and coach my clients.
And within the StrongHer Revolution, the fourth of the StrongHer Principles is StrongHer Food. That’s where I teach women to fall back in love with food. To let go of obsessing over calories and the number on the scales. And instead to see food as part of self love. Part of connection, care and self love.
The thing is. The thing is NEVER the thing. What do I mean in this situation. Your relationship with food is NOT about the food it’s something deeper. So let’s start to find out
1) Stop making food a fight
The start to making a change is in accepting where you are right now. Buy deciding to make a change it. Think about the impact that your relationship with food has on your life right now. And all the areas that food impact on.
“Your life is shaped in the moments of destiny.”
2) The truth
Where are you right now? Write down all your beliefs about your relationship with food that you have now. ALL of them.
And then go through them all and write next to each one, true or false. And when I mean true I mean, you can prove to me it is true.
Then write down next to each one does it serve me. Does it help you have the life you want?
^^^ All of this will help you get some real clarity on what’s going on and your truth.
3) What does it mean?
Then next up, what does this mean for your life? How does it affect how you feel? How do you feel when you eat?
4) How do you want it to be?
Think about how you want it to be? If you were to come from love how would it be? If you were to eat with love how would it be? If you were to prep food with love how would it be? What would you say think feel and do?
5) Step by step
Then think of it as a journey that you improve with the ebbs and flows of life. So think about one step and habit at a time. You can read my blog on how to create
Ready to make a change?
If you’re really struggling and need some help but don’t know where to start and feeling a little lost. You can book a FREE StrongHer Breakthrough Session, worth £197 here.
60 minutes with the creator of StrongHer You, Nicola Buckley to find out why you’re not where you want to be.
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