I see it in so may I work with and I’ve done it myself that need to PROVE that we’re enough by always doing more. That extra favour for a friend, some more responsibility at work, a fast weight loss plan before your holiday, helping out with our friend’s babysitting or helping a family member it all adds up and takes away from our own time.
In my belief I think we can truly live, feel and love more if we do less. We see being busy and exhausted as a status symbol. And on the reverse we’re scared of being lazy or selfish if we take some time out to stop and think of ourselves.
So as it’s that time of year for Lent, you might be thinking of giving up chocolate, wine or cake. BUT instead this year I invite you to give up something that doesn’t serve you. Something in your life that doesn’t feel good, that drains your energy and you feel less from.
Giving up and letting go isn’t weak or lazy, in fact my definition would be that letting goes means you are getting more clarity to focus on what you truly want from life.
From speaking to over 500 women over the last 2 years, here’s my top 10 list of things all women should give up, let go of to have a happier life.
I invite you to pick one of them and let it go from your life. Which one will you chose?
- Doing More
I see it in the women I work with that doing more is symptomatic of not feeling enough. You’re hustling to be worthy and accepted, by working harder, doing more and say yes when they really mean no.
The Impact: Doing MORE, tends to create MORE overwhelm, MORE confusion and MORE unhappiness. I used to “push through” when I wasn’t feeling great and work harder. Now I take a little time for me to reset, breathing, a walk, a cuppa and a call to my bestie.
An Invitation: To let go of one thing that doesn’t bring you joy, a simple thing that you will feel good for not being in your life anymore and to create more time for you.
- Always Others First
Again I set it in the amazing women I work with and they’re amazing ability to want to help and nurture those they love, means they ALWAYS put others first. Everyone else comes first, their children, partner, work/business and their family all before themselves, one client even put her cat before herself.
The Impact: Always others first, leads in the long term to frustration and resentment. Yet even before that it leads to tiredness and exhaustion, as you put your needs below everyone else’s. Again it’s a way of proving that you’re enough in making others happy yet the only people we can truly make happy is ourselves.
Invitation: I’m not asking you to forget your children or what your partner needs, I’m inviting you to find 5 minutes a day for you. And in that time do what feels great to you, breath, journal, phone your bestie or go for a walk.
- Overthinking and overwhelm
Overthinking and overwhelm I see in so many women, myself included. I’m in the 10th scenario of what could go wrong before anything has even happened. Plus when I’m really busy feeling overwhelmed and like there’s not enough hours in the day.
Impact: Both of these leads to confusion and lack of clarity. If you overwhelmed you’ll tend to no do anything as you won’t know where to begin.
Invitation: Stop and take time to learn about who you truly are and what you truly want. This doesn’t happen in daily life so it needs some of your time, attention and focus. Are you doing the things then to get there? The small daily tasks?
Have you done that thing of knowing that you have millions of things to do but feel like you have NO time to do them, so you end up on Facebook or clearing out your clothes?
Impact: Again procrastination in my belief goes back to lack of clarity. If your lost or confused it’s hard to know where to focus. So answer is to focus on nothing.
Invitation: Again stop and check in what you’re doing, I give myself 3 tasks a day to do and a weekly focus that all relate to what I want my life to be. If you’re in business for 3 days track your time and what your truly doing. Then see what you can drop, outsource and focus on your magic. Oh and tun your phone off when your working or really want to be present.
- Self sabotage
That feeling of getting so close to a goal and then “self sabotaging” it, the diet plan that goes out the window, that new business goal that you’re nearly at or the promotion you wanted. Who knows that feeling of getting so near and then blowing it?
Impact: In my mind self-sabotage doesn’t exist. Sabotage means to willfully and with intent sabotage what we’re doing. No one I know would willfully ruin their weight loss. Instead, all self-sabotage is are old habits and stories that take over when we’re stressed and lost.
Invitation: Break your goals down into chunks, then break the chunks down into small daily tasks that you feel good about that are fun and simple. Then the brain will work with you and these changes will become lifetime changes.
Ready to make a change?
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